Thailand - Day Two (part one) - Bangkok

It's insane how much we fit into this day.


The Grand Palace and the Temple of the Emerald Buddha (or Wat Phra Kaew) was our first stop. The Palace is enormous, tons of gold leaf and reflective jewels. Women have to wear skirts past their knees and if they wear sandals, there must be straps in the back. Men also must where pants past their knees. So I had to put a 100 Baht deposit down on some pants. It was 98 degrees and sunny.


After the Grand Palace we headed over to the Wat Pho (Temple of the Reclining Buddha). As we walked, guys kept telling us it was closed until 1 p.m. Seemed reasonable to me, Lisa felt otherwise. As we approached the temple, there were tons of tourist buses and the place was clearly open. The guys were taxi drivers, trying to get us to join them for a "special tour" or "one day only" sale. Bottom line, Lisa's brilliant, I'm not. The highlight of the area was the reclining Buddha. Just massive.

People are praying at many of the temples and all I can think is this is a movie set. I haven't laid eyes on anything like this in all my life. This was also where we received our first Thai massage, and supposedly this location is where it all began. We got 30 minutes for $7 each. Thai massage is pretty much attacking pressure points. Yes, a little pain is involved. We were lying next to each other.

After the Wat Poh we got caught in a down pour next to this government building where two guards let us wait out the rain. We made our way to another temple known as the Wat Ratchabophit. Alone and silent. This is very rare in Bangkok, a city of 12 million. It is like a spread out Chicago. Tall buildings and people everywhere. I never felt like I was in the quiet part of the city (except for maybe this moment).

Then we walked. Attempting to find restaurants in Bangkok is difficult. We had addresses and names of places that Lisa had gotten recommendations to from either friends or the internet, but people don't read maps in English and even names seem to be pronounced differently. We found ourselves in an alley with four different families coming out to try and point us in the right direction. It took about 20 minutes for someone to realize we were 1.5 blocks away.
The restaurant was called Chote Chitr. It was small (7 tables) and had newspaper clippings of reviews from all over the world (including the NYT) covering the walls. This is the size of a prawn (shrimp). The highlight was the banana leaf salad, which was nothing like salad.

The entire meal was less than $15 and amazing. In general, we always drank bottled water, and stayed away from ice and salad.

Thailand - Day Two (part two) - Bangkok

After lunch we headed to the Golden Mount, another temple, but this time with stairs (300 of them). After climbing up and down, I was getting tired so we took a Tuk Tuk to Khao San or backpacker's street.
No, this is not a safe vehicle, but it's cheap. Typically you can get where you want for 40 - 60 Baht. The green Tuk Tuk is one of the nicer looking ones we saw on our trip.

Backpacker's street is just tons of stores and street vendors and many men trying to sell me a suit. Suits are pretty cheap, with offers like 1 Suit, 2 Pants, 2 Shirts, 2 Ties being about $150. They take your measurements, and make the suit for you in 1-2 days. It's a great deal, but the salespeople are awful. Insanely pushy. I refused them all.

We then head to the river. It's just as large as the Mississippi and constantly used for transportation. Bangkok used to be just like Venice, but then they filled in about 90 percent of their canals. We took a longtail boat tour and once again Lisa proved her brilliance. The price was 1300 Baht each. Within a minute Lisa had us paying 1200 total.
I had no clue it was negotiable. We had our own longtail boat and took a 1.5 hour tour through the canals (known as klongs).

After a shower we head to a corner bar and drink some Chang and Singha beer. They come in single bottles and double bottles. All singles are served with koozies, which we finally realize are worth the slightly extra money since they remain cold the entire time.

Then it's time for Bangkok to screw us over a little bit. We head to Harmonique. A Thai restaurant. We get close taking the Sky Train which is clean, air-conditioned and cheap. We bought the 20-trip pass. Then we walk... and walk, trying to read street signs we think we are very close. We even have a tuk tuk driver say "Harmonique? 40 Baht," so we are convinced we are close, and don't see the point paying this guy $1.20. So we keep walking. Finally exhausted from walking approximately 72 kilometers throughout the day, we get into a tuk tuk. The standard is to negotiate beforehand and we explain where we are going. He says 20 Baht, and acts like he knows the place. We get in and he immediately takes off, I think we must have been really fair away. Lisa thinks we are getting screwed. Lisa wins again. After 10 minutes he takes us to some unknown restaurant with no name and an owner waiting to seat us. We keep saying "Harmonique" they keep saying, "Yes, Thai food." Just awful, plus we have no idea where the hell we are. And no one seems to know English.

At this point a couple is dropped out of a cab. They look confused. Lisa talks to them. Turns out this couple from Australia was in Bangkok last year, and were dropped off at this exact same restaurant. So they knew it took about a 10 minute walk to get back to a main street. The lesson - don't trust drivers in Bangkok.

We finally get to Harmonique and realize we were about a 1/2 block away before the tuk tuk driver got a hold of us. The food turns out to be average.

Thailand - Day Three - Bangkok to Chaing Mai

We take the Sky Train to the weekend market. It is bignormous. Just massive. If I ever wanted jewelry, watches, dogs, converse (that wouldn't fit me) or a leather anything... this is where it would happen. Lisa found one necklace. It started at 250 Baht, but she got the good face discount and it was hers for 150 Baht. The negotiation process is nuts. About half the time there is a sticker price, otherwise they seem to come up with an arbitrary number and you just start going back and forth. With stuff you can't get in the states you just have to decide what you would pay. It's very odd to not have a reference point. If they say 3500 for a watch... you can say 300 and see what happens.

We pass a place that has kitchen stuff and plates for insanely cheap prices. Lisa says, "Don't say it." I ask "What?" She says, "That we should have registered here."

We then go to the 49th floor of a fancy hotel and have amazing Indian food. It costs $55, was a bit pricey and the best Indian food I have ever eaten. Totally worth it. This was Lisa's dish.

After that we got a Thai foot massage. An hour and 250 Baht each. It was S & M for your feet. Pain to pleasure in a second. At times they used a wood instrument and just pushed against the inside of your toes. It was worth the experience and the feet felt totally refreshed afterward, but pain, it hurt.

We head to the train to take a 12-hour ride to a city called Chiang Mai, in the northern part of Thailand. The train was perhaps my only idea for the trip. Before the trip I had two large beers. We encounter a kid from Stockholm (seen in the background) who we talk up a little bit. He introduces himself as McLovin and eventually shows us the the tatoo he has just below his belly button which actually says, "McLovin." He looks 14 even though he says 21.

Then the amazing happens. Lisa says that an Asian girl approaching looks like a fellow med student from UIC by the name of Georgie, but couldn't be since she was traveling with another Asian and Georgie's boyfriend is white. She gets closer and says, "Lisa?" Yup, it's Georgie. Neither knew the other was traveling. So we chatted for a while, McLovin joined in the conversation, then we had to run off for our train. I put the odds at 1 in a billion.

We took a first-class sleeper train. Lisa was told to stay away from the dinner, I only ate the rice and a hint of the cashew chicken.

I drank a few more beers and we watching "Gossip Girl" on the iPod Nano, then it was time for bed.

Once again, Lisa was prepared. The air-conditioning was freezing so we were in pants and long sleeves... That didn't last long.

After being asleep for a couple hours I awoke to the most humid, stagnant air of my life. It was probably close to 100 degrees. The air had gone out and we had about 8 more hours to go. I woke Lisa up as any caring husband would to explain to her how hot it was. She then went to wake up the attendant. He came into the room, tapped on the air, shrugged his shoulders, then left to turn the entire electrical power of all the first-class passengers on and off. No luck. He left. Did I mention there was no English spoken here? At this point the 4 large beers sloshing around in my stomach were a bad idea.

By morning I was a pool of sweat, and we arrived in Chiang Mai 1.5 hours late. There was no hope since the windows are locked shut. So, just to recap, as far as successful ideas for the trip -- Lisa was winning about 47 to 0. Especially once she told me it would have been the same price to fly. Hell on Earth.

Thailand - Day Eleven - Phuket to Bangkok

It rained all night. We were very lucky with the very because this was the first rain of Phuket, and it was supposed to be the rainy season.

We watched the Celtics vs Pistons in the morning and then made our way to the airport. It was a quick one hour flight to Bangkok. Here's something nuts... The flight attendant will tell everyone not to get up after landing until the seatbelt sign is turned off. That stops no one. EVERYONE stands up before the sign goes off. Since our luggage was two rows behind we had to play the game. Everyone starts getting up, so Lisa and I make our move, then the brakes are hit and everyone lurches forward and Lisa got tossed into the flight attendant, who luckily caught her.

We staying at the Bossotel, which was recommended to us by Susan from Ireland. The pool was closed, which we were looking forward to, and after some polite complaining, we got an upgrade.

At night we hit the Indian Hut, who's logo looks exactly like Pizza Hut. Quality food, but overpriced.

Then we walked through the most insane mall district I have ever seen. It's what you would imagine Tokyo would be. There were about six giant malls all next to each other and all at least seven stories high.

We decide that we're in the mood for a movie, so we look for something besides "Indiana Jones" which we were saving for when we got back. There were nine theaters within a mile, and unfortunately, we hit all of them. "Indiana Jones" was at 80 percent of the screens. Then there was "Juno" which came out two weeks before, and "Never Back Down" which got released here because of the kick boxing I assume. So, walking to all the theaters turned out to be enough of a time-killers, but then we wrote Lisa's parents that we would be seeing "Indiana" the next day since we had no choice. Since they didn't have to save it, they saw the film immediately after reading the email.

Thailand - Day Twelve - Bangkok

It was a mall day.
After breakfast at the Bossotel (good apple juice), we went up the river to Chinatown. We had heard good things about the market, but really it was just the same stuff that all the other markets had, minus the blue jeans.

Then we went to the flower market, which is best to visit at 3 a.m. Just tons of flowers being sold on the street. We went the one day it was closed, so there was just a hint out. While walking back to the river, I saw a drain that might be part of the cause of the river being so dark.
It was time for another massage, and we both got the oil massage at Ruen-Nuad Massage. I had Wan, a woman in her 40s who posses a surprising amount of strength. She crushed my shoulder in the best possible way. Then I looked over, and Lisa was getting her chest massaged, so all in all, it was a good time, and we made plans to revisit the place the next day. It was the best massage place of our trip, and a hint more expensive.

Then we went to one of the giant malls for lunch at a sushi & hot pot place, where you grab stuff from a conveyor belt and either eat it raw or cook it in a pot at your plate. Pretty cool idea, but the food was just average.

Then we each ate three scoops of gelato, on top of sticky rice, inside a hot dog bun. Lisa had the majority (as seen to the right).

Then we visited the greatest movie theater I have ever seen. You could have seen a movie for about $3, but we went for the Ultra Deluxe screen of Indiana Jones for $16. That's me in the Ultra Deluxe private lounge. And that's Lisa in the theater, complete with pillow, blanket, and electronic recliner. Well worth it, even with the propaganda piece we had to watch (and stand for) about the king and how everyone loves him. And I give "Indiana Jones" a 6 out of 10, mainly for Harrison Ford.

At night we went to the Patong Night Market, which is known for chopsticks, ping pong shows, burning candles ... and this is all in the adult arena. That's all I am going to say about that.

Lisa finally bought a wood-carving thing, that is now hanging in our half bath. The negotiations started at 1500 Baht, and then Lisa finally got it down to 600 Baht. Seemed like a great deal. I was tempted to purchase a Taug watch knock-off, but they said 3500. I immediately walked away as they were shouting "1000." No clue what the proper amount would have been.

We got room service back at the Bossotel and called it a night.

Thailand - Day Thirteen - Bangkok

We considered just hanging out at the mall again. It's not like we were done with the vacation, we just never fell in love with Bangkok compared to Phuket or Chiang Mai.

Instead, we hit up the Thai Creative & Design Center (TCDC) which was a small, free, very cool exhibit hall which highlighted creative products such as the VW Beetle (Hitler's idea) and the walkman. There wasn't much of a Thai connection.

Then we went to Jim Thompson's House & Museum. He reinvented the silk industry that Thailand is now known for after the Vietnam War. He disappeared mysteriously.

Back to Ruen-Nuad Massage where Lisa once again received a massage on the front side (no, she's not a fan). And my butt cheeks received a good amount of attention from Wan, who expects to see me back in a year.

Last night in Bangkok and we went to the Night Bazaar. We ate a plate full of pork (good) and a papaya salad. When the papaya salad was being made, the woman asked Lisa if she wanted spicy. Lisa said, "medium," so the woman only put half the chili pepper in. It didn't take long for Lisa is have a constant stream of tears while eating. She loved/hated the dish. For our last act, we attempted to go to the Sky Bar which is an open bar at the top of a hotel about 60 stories up, but I was in shorts, which is frowned upon. So we were rejected. The End.