Thailand - Day Five - Chiang Mai

Breakfast with Pepsi. French toast, passion fruit juice and coffee. All part of the free breakfast as Baan Orapin. I asked our server his name. He said, "Pepsi," clearly he didn't understand, so I repeated myself. Same response. Then I pointed to myself and said "Jeff," just to make sure he understand. Then he made the drinking motion, said, "Pepsi" then pointed to himself. Once again, the lesson is that I am a stupid American. He sincerely struck me as someone who loves his life and loves serving/helping others. Later, when we needed to make a phone call, he ran to get his cell phone.

Then it was time to fly. Flight of the Gibbons was a zip line course in the rain forest that Lisa has arranged. 3000 Baht each, which included the hour drive, lunch, and a waterfall (huge, long, beautiful), as well as a 15-station zip line course. We met Matt from the UK and Susan/Joanne, sisters from Ireland.

It was a group of the five of us along with two instructors, one named Tiger. Lisa was a pro.

I was a bit dangly.

Supposedly one of the stations was the highest in the country, continent, world, something like that. Seemed likely. The instructors loved Lisa, mainly because they could bounce her along the line and she wouldn't mind. Let me use caps to fully express myself... THIS WAS WELL WORTH THE PRICE AND ABSOLUTELY NEEDS TO BE DONE IF YOU VISIT THE AREA.

After that we got a blind massage. Yup. Blind. The government helps support blind people so they can have a trade. We heard good things. I went with the oil massage, Lisa another Thai. Mine was like lightly rubbing lotion all over your body (awful). Lisa's was crushed. I would look over and every single time she was just wincing, and for obvious reasons, her guy didn't pick up on her discomfort. As we left, Lisa was convinced she would be bruised. She was correct.

That night we ate at Whole Earth. It is now home to the greatest chicken with red curry I have ever eaten in my life (on the right side in the banana leaf). It was actually mashed, so every bite was the same. I couldn't get over the flavor and constantly told Lisa as much.

That night we met up with Joann, Susan and Matt. Good times. We got drinks. Everything was dead that Sunday night due to a Buddhist holiday. Lisa and I finally learned the regular sized bottle is worth the hint of extra money because it is always served in a koozy and it is always cold. We spent most of the night talking about the differences between Americans and Europeans with pop culture. It felt like one of those convos you get into with friends about 80s cartoons. "You watched the British Office? Oh my god, me too! Remember that time..." and so on and so forth.

Thailand - Day Six - Chiang Mai

Eggs for breakfast, a couple cups of coffee and we were ready to go.

The elephant conservatory outside of Chiang Mai is also the only elephant hospital in Southeast Asia. This place is much more humane than the stories we heard of elephant's being prodded until bleeding with other places.

It was only 70 Baht to enter and tour the place. It's close to 3000 Baht to train as a mahout (elephant rider/trainer) for a day, but we decided to spend our money elsewhere. As we show up they are starting a show and we get to see elephants dragging logs, the power of their trunks, a bit of painting (seriously) and then we feed them bananas.

Afterward we walked the grounds and learned about elephant dung paper. They make it on site and I bought a couple of notebooks. Totally orderless, but you can actually see grains of watermelon seed or other things the elephant was eating embedded in the paper.

Then we hung out with some baby elephants and visited the hospital where they were diagnosed with everything from "not producing milk for baby" to "depression." Apparently a healthy elephant swings its tail back and forth five times then flips it over and raising its trunk. If that's not happening, its depressed.

We also took an elephant ride for 30 minutes. It was nice, a bit wobbling and our mahout spoke no English, so at the end of the ride when we went into the lake, we were curious what was going on. I could have touched water. Apparently, the elephant just had something on its ear and he washed it off.

At lunch Lisa had a young coconut. The milk is sugary/sweet inside and supposedly very healthy.

Close by, at a really old temple, Lisa got a hint sick. At this point neither of us had felt ill and had avoided salads, non-bottled water, ice and fruit from street vendors. So she didn't have much inclination to fall in love with the temple, which I loved because it was one of the few that was covered in gold leaf.

Then we hit some factory outlets which were awful, overpriced and pointless. Though we did see a factory where workers were actually making the rings. Not a sweat shop, but in the same ballpark.

In the evening we hit up the Night Bazzar, had a roti (crepe-like thing with chocolate & bananas), and finally bought stuff.

I purchased a cigarette holder and business card case made out of wood. Both are awesome. Lisa decided I got ripped off even though we have no idea how much I should have paid. Price = 200 Baht.

Thailand - Day Seven - Chiang Mai

Time to cook.

Baan Thai Cookery School ... but first I ate French Toast even though many people told me not to bother since I would be having six courses during the cooking classes. Lisa has yogurt and fresh fruit. Pepsi was still doing great.

As we are driving around, picking people up for the class, we meet Ben, who currently lives in Sydney, is originally from Philadelphia and has lived in L.A., Boston, Seattle, London and probably a few other places... needless to say, he had a number of impressive stories. The best probably was Tiger land, outside of Bangkok, where monks raised injured wild animals. He played with full-size tigers and black bears. Lisa and I were tempted to investigate for a second, but the idea of being eaten alive didn't sit well.

We also met Fintan and Mark, two Irish men who were completely and utterly hungover from the night before. They seemed sober after 10 minutes. F-bombs, cigarettes and Irish accents, I couldn't have been happier.

Lisa and I never cooked in the same room because we made different dishes. First we went to a local market and checked out fruits (mangosteen, jackfruit and lychee) and fish, then we cooked. I burned my first dish (just the garlic). Everything but the fish cakes (slightly different than crab cakes) were amazing. Lisa and I made: fresh curry paste, hot and sour prawn (shrimp) soup, green curry with chicken, chiang mai noodle, spring rolls, papaya salad, fried noodle thai style, deep-fried banana and mango with sticky rice. Again, caps -- DO A COOKING CLASS. There are many to choose from and it seems like you can't go wrong.

Then we went back to get a massage from the women's prison. Lisa got a foot, I got an oil massage, but asked for a strong one. Best ever. I was immediately hooked. It was the best of a standard massage plus thai, with none of the pain.

We didn't eat a thing that night.

We met Joann and Susan, along with Fintan and Mark at the UN Irish Pub (cause it was close) and then went out. Drinking beer constantly. We hit up Heaven Beach, sand for a floor and an amazing cover band that probably didn't speak a lick of English, but that didn't stop them from nailing AC/DC, Nirvana, Coldplay, Franz Ferdinand and The Killers. The sound quality of this clip isn't great, but trust me, they were dead-on.

This was the night of Man-U versus Chelsea. Game time - 2:00 a.m. and Mark was a HUGE Manchester fan. I know about soccer because of video games and my friend John, so I wasn't too excited.

Mark went to a bar to make sure he could get in and watch the game. Fintan took the rest of us to a Thai club. We were the only white people. No, I was never worried about anything... except Fintan. At this stage, I should have been done drinking. Fintan goes to the bar and comes back with an entire bottle of whiskey and cokes. I think it cost less than $10. As soon as we start drinking the bar begins to close. We somehow get through half the whiskey, and have to go. Fintan pockets the rest.

We go back to the bar, which appears closed (but that's only on the outside). Mark gets us in and Fintan and I join him at the bar. Lisa and the girls grab a booth. Mark's drinking whiskey and coke from a bucket, an actual bucket. I continue to try and keep up... no logic here. The bartender brings out some sort of tuna thing and potato thing and eat. Fintan is still going strong, telling me Man-U winning is just like the Cubs (he spent a summer in Chicago back in 2005).

Once the game goes into overtime, Lisa is done, and I am done. We say good-bye to Fintan, but not Mark... he's throwing up in the back room.

We get back to our place around 5 a.m. and I watch the shoot-out (Ronaldo's miss, Terry's slip, then the save) on the TV, then fall asleep. It was amazing.

Thailand - Day Nine - Phuket

We ate at Cinnamon, one of the two breakfast places at our resort. Good variety of food and hands down the best apple juice I have ever had, and I'm not normally a fan.

The beach was just over the hill and is considered one of the best in Asia. It was.

There were boobs. Not sure if it was a topless beach, or just this one woman (yes, they were nice), but it was a nice addition. We both applied sunscreen multiple times, but Lisa was going overboard.

The water was perfectly clear, even at six feet deep. Great temperature as well. We spent 200 Baht for recliners with umbrellas and sat, swam and ate for the day. I ordered a burger, no idea what kind of meat or cheese was used, but it was good. Then it was time to surf. We had both done a little in Hawaii on Waikiki Beach. I loved it and felt like I was pretty decent. I caught something like 5.5 out of 7 waves. Here, the waves were much shorter and not as high. But I tried for an hour and felt good about 3 waves.

Then I looked down at my knee (that's a bump five inches below my knee cap). I was planting there every time I got up. Not a great idea.

After a shower we enjoyed the sunset. Lisa had a margarita and me a majito (spelled on the menu, which happened quite a bit during our trip).

Then I finally broke down and went to get a shirt sizing from one of the million suit places. The main reason was Fintan's insistence that I do it after he got a linen suit. Luckily, our guy wasn't too salesy. I picked two patterns, 100 percent cotton, they took my measurements and the shirts would be ready in 24 hours. I left a 1000 Baht deposit for the 2400 total ($80).
Then we hit the Boat House, an high-end restaurant right on the beach. We had a great view and very good meal. Lisa's appetizer was the highlight, my crab cake appetizer was second. The mango and sticky rice was also great.